I think it would be awesome to tattoo “let’s bone” on my knuckles.

 
While the knuckle tattoo is a bold move — second only to the neck and/or face tattoo; which, as a friend of mine once said, “pretty much indicates this is as far as a person intends to go in life” — it also implements insta-street cred. You’re obviously balls to the wall if you’ve picked an eight-letter phrase that will be read with every handshake for the rest of your life. From that point forward, when you meet someone, they’ll consider that to be your motto — precisely why I think “let’s bone” would be a perfect fit for me. 

I can see it now: I’m introduced to someone and, as I reach forward my right hand to shake theirs, they read “let’s” — most likely in old English font. This person, I’m envisioning a man, would cock his head to the right and strain his vision to ensure that “let’s” is what he is seeing. At that point this man would likely try to peek at my left hand to see just what I want us to do together. I would imagine that, upon seeing the word “bone” beside my tattoo reading “let’s,” this would warrant a sincere guffaw — and perhaps also a firm smack on the ass.

 This introduces a conundrum, however. What if the ass-smacker at hand is a total creepster? What if people see this tattoo and think I’ll bang it out with anyone who happens to read the writing on the wall, so to speak. Just because a person has “let’s bone” tattooed on his or her knuckles, doesn’t mean said person is a slut or will just spread ‘em for every Tom, Dick and Harry — or hairy dick, as the case may be.

In fact, I’ve oftentimes found that, because of the things I say, men assume I’m just going to put out faster than you can say “Panties? I don’t even wear panties.” But what they fail to recognize is that, while I’m dirty-minded, I’m mostly a wordsmith. I make the written language my bitch in an effort to amuse others and, mainly, myself. My goal is not to give you a boner… although, if I do, I’m happy to have helped your current situation somewhat.

To be honest, I wouldn’t even get this tattoo in an effort to get laid, I’d get this tattoo in an effort to amuse myself for life… or at least until I regret the tattoo in, say, ten, twenty years. You know, once everyone and their boss’s mistress has the same tattoo and it’s lost its cachet as a result.

Considering that this would be a decision that would give my mother a heart attack, let’s weigh out the pros and cons, shall we?

Pro: Street cred (Obviously a person with this tattoo doesn’t fuck around… well, maybe in the literal sense.)
Con: Reverse street cred for family and professional-types Pro: Guys would know I’m DTF (although with mitigating circumstances).

Con: Guys would assume I’m DTF them, specifically.

Pro: The words “let’s bone” might encourage a firm smack on the ass.

Con: The words “let’s bone” might encourage a firm smack on the ass from a total creepster.

Pro: I’d most likely get fired from my job.

Con: I’d most likely get fired from my job.

Hmmm, a straight wash. It seems that, while the negative aspects to such a tattoo are mounting, the benefits are also accumulating. While I may in a few years get tired of looking down and seeing the words “let’s bone” tattooed across my hands — especially in times when I’m experiencing a sexual drought — I could always have those eight-letters covered with the words “old whore.”